The Story of the First Damn Not Lumpy Thing
I’ve never heard this expression in English actually. About the lumpy things. It comes from the idea that the frying pan isn’t warm enough when you pour your first batch of batter and your crepe becomes crap. As a matter fact we have lots of sayings about butter, blinis, and stuff in Russian in addition to this one: “rolls like cheese in butter” (doing very well for himself) or “not all is Maslenitsa for the cat” an equivalent of “every day is not Sunday!”
Russians claim the invention of blintzes, thin or thick, small or large. I’m pretty sure most cultures have their own version of this dish and for a good reason: most households have some combination of flour, liquid, and eggs at their disposal. We, however, have a whole holiday dedicated to blinis, blintzes, or crepes. It’s called Maslenitsa or “The Butter Lady” and is celebrated the week before lent. This too I know is a universal tradition. Most cultures have some sort of carnival or fair (Cologne or Venetian carnival, Mardi Gras, or the one in Rio), or the festive topsy-turvy day like Purim before the solemnity of fasting and “serious holidays” like Easter or Passover.
Maslenitsa has pagan origins and fair-like festivities: wrestling or fist-fighting, pole-climbing, dancing, costume dress up, contests, etc. According to the Niva magazine of 1870 every day of Maslenitsa week had its own specialty: meets & greets on Monday, games on Tuesday, yummy treats on Wednesday, wide day, whatever that means, on Thursday, mother-in-law day on Friday, sister-in-law day on Saturday, and finally farewell, forgiveness, Memorial Day on Sunday.
The culmination of the holiday is burning of the maiden statue made of straw. She represents the cold, the winter, all the bad that’s now over, as we are ready for the spring to take over. She is called Maslenitsa because they probably doused the statue in oil (in Russian oil and butter are the same word) and because the signature food for the holiday is butter doused crepes with honey.
In my house however blinis were a weekend regular and I didn’t have to wait the whole year to enjoy them. With two grandmothers who were great chefs and a Mom – a wonderful cook in her own right, there was no shortage of tasty treats. And of course since there were no restaurants in my childhood, every single dish from appetizers to desserts and drinks was home-made from scratch. Funny enough both grandmas had different “specialties” and their signature dishes didn’t repeat. Even your basic foods had their own spin. If it was chicken soup Grandma Riva made it with home-made egg noodles, while Grandma Dora always made hers with rice. One made gefilte, another – fish aspic. One stewed chicken, another – rabbit.
Crepes or as we affectionately call them blinchiks are my Grandma Riva’s crown jewel. And because my Mom lived with her in-laws for a few years after she married my Dad, she mastered it too, and continued to make at home often. But my fondest childhood memory of blinchiks is when I wake up in my grandparents home and Grandma asks: blinchiks for breakfast? Of course — I say! And she seemingly effortlessly whips the batter together in no time, and the kitchen smells so good, and it’s warm, there is fresh tea in the teapot or in tea infuser (my grandparents were the only ones with the infuser, and I loved playing with it as a child!), and here they are the blinchiks, the sour cream, honey, and my Baba’s amazing jams. With fruit grown in her garden and made by hand. Pear jam will forever be my favorite.
But here is my all time favorite blinchiks & Baba Riva story. When I was a teenager I was of course much more into my friends than hanging out with my Grandma. My Grandpa Boris had passed away by that time and she was living alone. I was 18 and went out “on the town” with my classmates. There were six or seven of us. I honestly don’t remember what we did, but we found ourselves far from home and at an hour when public transport no longer worked. It is hard to believe but this was the time before cell phones or credit cards. And we had no cash for taxis, even one taxi, and we all lived in different parts of town. I said: not to fret, my grandma lives nearby, she would not mind hosting us for the night. And indeed she did not mind. She found places to sleep for all of in her apartment. We all called home from her phone to make sure our parents knew where we were. My Baba laughed and “hung out” with us. And in the morning, you guessed it, she quickly mixed batter for the hugest batch of blinchiks I remember. Fun fact hers were never lumpy, damn first thing or not!
March is the month my grandma “Baba” Riva passed away. It will be 15 years without her. During these 15 years I’ve made her blinchiks hundreds of times. They always and I mean ALWAYS come out right. In dorms, and friends apartments, in special pans, and scratched old ones. In Israel, Russia, and the USA I’ve made them. I taught cooking classes and shared recipes of these blinchiks with numerous people. To honor my Grandma’s memory. Just yesterday a friend reminded me that I taught her this recipe a decade ago, and she in turn shared it with friends and family. It made my heart sing. These days my daughter whose middle name is Rebecca, after my Grandma Riva, regularly demands blinchiks on the weekend. Tradition continues. And my Grandma lives on. One blinchik at a time.
Riva’s Blinchiks
The Magic Ingredients
- 3 eggs
- 3 tbsp sugar
- a pinch of salt
- 2 cups milk (500 ml)
- about 2 cups flour
- 2–3 tbsp oil, plus more for frying
The Method
Crack the eggs into the large bowl. Add salt & sugar & whisk together. My grandma always did it by hand with a whisk, or even with a fork. That’s the only time when I alter the method and use mixer, but it will work either way, nothing crazy, just incorporating ingredients!
Add 1/2 cup of milk into the egg mixture, and mix.
Add 2 heaped spoons of flour, and mix.
Repeat process 3 more times, till all the milk is used.
The batter should be quite liquid-y. If it’s too thick, this depends on the flour and how heaped your spoonfuls are, add more milk or water, it should really flow easily to coat the pan.
Add oil, 2–3 spoons, and mix.
Let sit for flour to thicken, ideally 10–15 minutes, I rarely give it five, I’m too impatient when it comes to frying.
Heat up your frying pan on high. Literally any pan work, I have not tried stainless, but cast iron, non-stick, or special low blini pan all work.
I like adding a little batter to the pan, especially in the beginning, while it’s heating up. It gives the crepes a nice crisp. But they will flip without oil as well. Try and see.
When the oil & the pan are hot, pour one ladle of batter into the pan. The thinner the layer the better. I like having a full ladle, and pour half of it, swirl around, and see whether I need to fill any gaps, less is more in this case, unless you like your crepes think & chewy.
The heat should be medium at first, and you can adjust it, as you go, depending on how fast the blin browns.
Cook for about one minute, till the surface becomes matte.
With a thin long spatula (offset or fish would work) carefully pick up your crepe, and flip it. If it is crumpled (it shouldn’t, but it might take a few tries), straighten it up on the pan.
Cook for another 20–30 seconds, depending on how crispy you like them.
Remember to stir your batter with the ladle in-between frying, as the heavier particles get to the bottom, and you want it mixed evenly.
This amount yields about 12–14 large blintzes. Once you get the gist of it, try two frying pans, it significantly speeds up the process.
Serve right away with sour cream, jam, Nutella or chocolate spread, sweetened condensed milk, caviar, honey, or whatever rocks your boat. You can also stuff your blinis with minced meat, apples, cheese, or whatever and serve later. They freeze really well.
Enjoy!
